Going Home... #mnmonday

Tomorrow I'm heading home to my boys.  Sadly my Love won't be there, he's headed out of town. But my others will be.  Can't wait to see them. It's been a full week away.

It's going to be hard to leave here.  I love caring for my Mom.  I truly do.  She's my Mom. I'll never be able to return half the love and care she's given me. But I cannot live here. I need to find the balance. 

Pathology came back today. Ovarian cancer...it's official. We weren't surprised.  I really don't like cancer.  But I'm trusting in my Jesus. I'm trusting that this is the path that's been planned and designed for us. Sometimes during the day I really have to remind myself in that. I keep hearing the old hymn ...

1. ’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to take Him at His Word;
   Just to rest upon His promise,
   And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
   • Refrain:
     Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
     How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
     Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
     Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
2. Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   And in simple faith to plunge me
   ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
3. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life and rest, and joy and peace.
4. I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.

It goes through my head over and over.  Oh for grace to trust HIM more. 

Laying in bed together today.  After I'd had a good cry. Calling mom's hairdresser to tell her what's going on. Asking her to come to the house to do her hair this week. Telling her about the chemo...it was almost too much. So I crawled into bed with my mom after I had a good hard cry.  

Thanks for the prayers. This is the hard stuff in life.  Really really hard.