for everyone who wants their children to love sports, but love Jesus more.

Wow!  This came across my blog feed today.  God's perfect timing to the blog post I JUST wrote about Tommy...such truth here.  

for everyone who wants their children to love sports, but love Jesus more

from the blog http://withallherheart.com/for-everyone-who-wants-their-children-to-love-sports-but-love-jesus-more/

Playing any sport is really a gift. It is not a must, but rather a fun opportunity to enjoy one more thing this life offers with our children. More than likely, for most, it will not be a career. It may not bring fame or fortune. But, it could just bring something far more important. Something life-changing. Something earth-shattering for our children. Sports can teach our children (and us) great lessons. Ones that can last for a lifetime. Some that may impact your child’s character in a way that nothing else will. Yes, sports are very important, but more so than the sport is the lesson that accompanies it.

It is sad, and I must confess,  all too often I have gotten more caught up in the position I wanted them to play or the number of great plays I hoped they would make than I did in recognizing just how God might be using the game to shape their hearts. To mold their character. To help teach them things they really need to know in life.

As this spring season is already in full swing for our family, I have realized that there are some really great things I hope for my boys to gain this year. And, yes, of course I would love a few home runs and great plays, but more so, I want them to grow and learn and evolve into faithful men who love their sports, but love Jesus more.

So here you go. These are a few of the things I want them to find or have or do in the great sports arena of life.  Sometimes, I just need to be reminded of how big HIS plans are for them. On the field or off.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. { Jeremiah 29:11-3}

Thankfulness. For good health. That they would be thankful for legs that can run and arms that can swing and feet that can kick. Realizing that not all children can do these things and others may never have the opportunity. It truly is a gift not to be taken lightly.

Kindness. That they would grow to care more about their teammates than the game. An encouraging word or supportive hand will outlast any win by a long shot.

Respect. That they would learn to always respect their coaches, even if they disagree with their choices. Realizing that the coach often sees a much greater picture than they do (or their parents for that matter). Much like God does for all of us.

For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths. {Proverbs 5:21}

Understanding. That they would look at the other team as Jesus does.  Not just as an opponent, but as one more opportunity to treat others as  Jesus would. Acknowledging any defeat with their heads held high and ‘good game!’ on the tips of their tongues.

Gratitude. That they would be grateful for the rules of the game and those who try to enforce them. Knowing that they are not perfect, but rather human just like all of us. They will make mistakes, but gratefully none of their calls will be life or death.

Appreciative. That they would appreciate the time their parents devote to supporting them. Thanking them often for encouraging them and providing what they need.

Wisdom. That they would see their time on the bench or in their least favorite position or in the losers bracket as an opportunity. One in which their character can grow and they can learn to handle adversity unselfishly. Without complaining.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, {Philippians 2:14}

Diligent. That they would understand what it means to work hard for something and that they could see the fruit of their labors. Striving each practice and game to work as if working for the Lord, not for themselves or their coaches.

Whatever work you do, do it with all your heart. Do it for the Lord and not for men. {Colossians 3:23}

Opportunity. That they would make the most of every opportunity. To make a play on the field, but more importantly to make a difference in someone’s life.  To reach out a hand or pat on the back when needed and to just be a good friend.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. {Colossians 4:5}

God’s favor. That they would grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.  Just like Jesus did.

And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man. {Luke 2:52}

Yes, this is my overall prayer for this season, and every season of their lives.  And, by seeking His kingdom first, all those other things might be given to them as well.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. {Matthew 6:33}

And, yes, friends, I know. I need all these things, too. Not just for my boys.

I need to seek Him first and trust Him more in the lives of my children.

In sports. And, in all things.

Grateful He is able.

On To State...

The boys basketball team won their game on Saturday night.  To be honest, it was bittersweet for this Mama.  Tommy didn't get any playing time..none.  I do not understand the coach, and I do not appreciate his unfulfilled promises to Tommy but here is what I was SO proud of...

-I was proud to see his hand on his heart during the National Anthem, this isn't a given anymore for people to put their hand on their hearts.  I don't understand that.  But I was proud that he was one of the 3 players on our team that did.

-I was proud of how he encouraged his teammates from the bench.  He cheered them on, he high-fived them coming off of the court.

-I was proud of how he celebrated the victory and remembered that it was about "TEAM" and not Tommy.  I had a harder time as the Mom sitting in the stands to be completely honest.

-I was proud of his big smile throughout it all.  I know inside his heart was hurting.

So on to State we go...we play our first game next Tuesday at 10:30 am.  He is excited about it all and for that I am proud.  DMC has not been to state in boys basketball since 2010 so it is a very cool thing.  Tee shirts are ordered and the school is SO excited!  Go Lions!

 The Seniors...

 The boys...

 The Tommy fan club

 The Glen Oaks Staff

Chapter coming to an end

A friend of Tommy is taking photos for the school yearbook.  He shot these of Tommy and I received them today.

It is strange to think that the chapter of basketball is coming to an end.  This kid has loved basketball since he could touch a ball.  It is so strange.  I realize he will most likely continue to play pick up basketball, Intramural basketball but not an organized team basketball game.

I love watching him play.  I love watching his smile after he makes a good play.  I love watching his intensity.  I really will miss this chapter.

The boys play tomorrow night...they are at the point in the season where with any loss, the season is over...and with any win...they get closer to playing in state.

This year hasn't been the easiest.  He hasn't played as much as he had hoped.  He hasn't felt the coaches have been fair all the time.  It has been a LOT of perseverance.  He has met with the coaches.  He has tried in practice, and for that not to be rewarded, in his eyes, by playing time...it has been disappointing to be honest.  It has been hard as a parent.  I have wanted to pull the coach aside and have a little heart to heart with him...that's the part of parenting that is SO hard.  The sitting in the stands part.  The encouraging your son after a game that you don't feel is fair.  Loving Tommy no matter what is the easy part.  Basketball....it is a sport.  It is a high school sport. Just a sport  It is so much about perspective.  But when you are in it, and 18, it can be hard.

I am soaking these last moments in with Tommy...

I loved these photos...

Made me smile...

Recent things I have found that made me smile and think

Loving like Jesus

Most of you know that my older sister lives a LGBT lifestyle.  It has been one of the hardest parts of my life.  This spoke to me a couple of weeks ago.  I struggle with being a light to my sister yet loving her well.  It is hard balance to teach our boys to love like Jesus and yet we cannot ignore what is a part of our family.  

Dear Bronwyn,

I know what the bible says about homosexuality and believe it. I have family and friends that are gay, and some of them are married.I am so careful at this point to just show the love of God to them by not judging, but some Christian friends believe I should be telling them it is sin (but if they were to get divorced, wouldn’t that be sin, too?) What should I do? 

Help please,

Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Dear SBRHP,

I love that you are working so hard to show God’s love to your gay friends and family. I think showing God’s love means more than refraining from judgement. Positively, it also means that no matter who we are dealing with, we show the fruit of the Spirit in our interactions, we live lives of holiness and service, we tell others about Jesus, and extend his invitation for people to come to him.

However, your letter does raise the specific question of when it is appropriate to point out other people’s sin to them, and should you be doing this specifically with your gay friends and family? After all, no one thinks it would be okay for us to go around telling others that they should eat less (because, GLUTTONY) or not stay up so late (because the Bible says REST!) or to delete pirated movies from their computer (because THEFT!). I have not observed lobbyists hounding all the Christian dating couples who are sleeping together, and questioning whether they should be welcomed (or what it says about our own morality if we do!) We are not kicking young men and women struggling with pornography out of the church. No: we love them and keep them close and hope to win them with faith, love, and our example. Nor do we take up our mantle as a church to right these wrongs, even though we believe the bible’s teaching to be clear in this regard. It is increasingly a mystery to me that we live with such a bifurcated ethic, thinking that for some, the gospel message is “you are saved by coming to Jesus”, but for others (the LGBTQ population), we seem to say “you are saved by straightness. And also Jesus.”

So I say this: keep loving your friends and family as best as you can. It is TOTALLY okay to be in a warm and welcoming relationship with “sinners”. Jesus did it all the time, and the “righteous” gave him a torrid time about it, questioning his own righteousness and allegiance to the law as a result. Besides which, its not as if your gay friends and family don’t *know* that God’s sexual design is laid out by the bible. It’s not as if your telling them would be new information and they would say “oh! I didn’t know that! Now that you mention it, I’ll turn my life around!”

For what it’s worth, I say keep telling them about Jesus. Keep showing them Jesus. And be patient with the others who want you to speak out against them: I’m sure they want what is best, too, but honestly I think we need to tread carefully when we go about the business of pointing out one another’s sins.

Here are the guidelines that come to mind when approaching others:

* It makes a difference whether the person is a believer or not. 1 Corinthians 5:12 ˚ says we have no business judging those outside of our fellowship. The modern Christian habit we have of huddling together to point fingers at the “world” but neglecting a rigorous pursuit of holiness ourselves reflects a disordered view of where our responsibilities lie.

* It is ultimately the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, not mine (John 16:8-11). To give one example: I used to meet with a woman who had come to faith while she was living with her fiancé. I really wrestled with how much (if anything) to say about her living situation, but felt nudged that this was one of just a number of things God was working through with her at the time, and I should trust his timing. In a couple of weeks, she came to me with a bunch of questions about what God said about premarital sex, I answered them as best I could, and still she kept living as she was. It was nearly a year later that she broke off her engagement, and that in itself was part of a much bigger story of what God was doing in her life that included shaping her sexual choices, but was not limited to it. God worked to change her in His timing.

* Sometimes we do need to say something, but whether that word “sticks” and is acted on is not our responsibility. The passage in Ezekiel 33 comes to mind, where Ezekiel is told that he must warn Israel (if he doesn’t, he is responsible), but if he does warn them, he isn’t responsible for how they respond.

* If I do play a role in helping someone along the road, the key word is to do so gently. I do believe there is a place for church discipline.

* And of course, we need to be Oh-So-Careful of our motives if we approach a fellow believer: making sure we come with a clear conscience, with their own welfare in mind (rather than our own wanting-to-be-right-ness), and being painfully aware that we are just as susceptibleto trickery ourselves. Jesus was very clear that we have no business clearing out other people’s “specks” if we haven’t paid attention to the logs in our own eyes. Again: we are supposed to help other people get rid of the specks in their eyes – but we must pay rigorous attention to our own spiritual “vision” first if we are to help.

* The closer we are, the more place we have to speak into one another’ lives. I think close accountability and friendship gives space for both giving and receiving this kind of input. I know I am less likely to pay careful attention to someone who I feel is criticizing me from afar (and it makes me wary of being the person who then attempts to rebuke from a distance.) I for one, am deeply appreciative to the people who have humbly come along side me and helped me to identify and deal with sin.

Your letter doesn’t say whether your friends and family are believers. If they aren’t, I think leave it be on the sexuality issues and do your best to find ways to include God in your friendship with them. If they are believers, I would say walk this road very carefully and prayerfully because while the Bible does have MUCH to say about our sexuality and holiness, it has so much to say about other issues too (how do we handle money? how proud are we?) I think we do Christ’s body egregious harm if we go around seeking to address one thing, but are so terribly imbalanced at seeking holistic holiness in all areas of our corporate life.

When all is said and done, I still believe that the orientation we should care most about is someone’s orientation to Jesus.

And that's a wrap....

The birthday dinner is over...the gifts have been opened...he has been sung to and the cake has been cut.  Another birthday in the books.  We are headed to a 9 pm showing of the new movie RACE tonight.  I have a sitter coming for Max and the rest of us will go see the Jesse Owens story...he is a former Buckeye if you didn't know.  I hope I can stay awake for the entire movie. :)

Here are the pictures from the evening....Max is so helpful Scott didn't have to open ANY of his own presents or blow out his candles.  Love 6 year olds at birthday parties.

It has been a blessed day...we are so grateful for my Love.  What a guy!

 Someday I should take the time to line up ALL of his birthday pics...at this table...with these boys...and this exact same cake.  He is very predictable which is one of my favorite things about him...

  

Special day

It is a special day around here...it is Scott's birthday!  #57 actually!  Yep, he robbed the cradle and I am always reminded of that when he celebrates another birthday. :)

I currently have his favorite dinner in the oven...although he switched up the main dish...it has always been pot roast as the main dish and this year it is ham loaf.  The sides remain the same, mashed potatoes, homemade applesauce, corn casserole, creamed spinach and I added in popovers vs crescent rolls this year.  And of COURSE a Boston Cream Pie awaits for candles and dessert.

This morning we celebrated with a big breakfast before we headed off to Max's basketball game.  Drew had morning baseball so he missed it.

Then Scott and Drew went and hit balls OUTSIDE on the driving range...yes it is open today it is 60 degrees outside.  Tommy had basketball practice so he missed this part.

They came home to sloppy joes for lunch.  And then he headed BACK to the range and this time he took Max with him...trying to wear him out.  That didn't work.  I was hoping for a nap for him but no luck.  Tommy and Drew had a golf clinic for school while they were at the range. (no one sits here)

He came home and then went to Lifetime with Jack to workout.  The guy NEVER sits still....seriously.

He is now outside raking the dead grass up off the front yard.  Santa brought him a new rake and this is his first time using it.  There is still some snow, but not much.

It has been a good day thus far...lots of phone calls and texts to him too.

We will open his gifts after dinner and may have another surprise or 2 in store for him.  The Buckeyes play at 6:oo pm so what better way for him to celebrate than ALL of us home watching his favorite team.

Pictures later...

Love this man of mine....love that his birthday landed on a Saturday so we could be with him all day long.

#itmatterswhoyoumarry

My favorite hashtag is one that my Love made up...his very first time on twitter he posted a sweet note about me and then #itmatterswhoyoumarry.  It has stuck.  I use it often...and I have several friends that do now as well.  It is so true.

I keep coming back to this photo from A Night to Shine...and it makes me smile and tear up all at once.  This is pure joy on Scott's face...this is pure pride...this is love.  He loves Annette like she is his baby sister.  He protects her fiercely.  He would do anything for her.

This is a man who is black and white on most all decisions.  He is passionate about what he believes in.  He is as loyal as they come.  Once you are in his circle, you are IN and you WILL be protected.

He does not waiver on much if anything.  He is strong.  He is also a man who cried more than I did on this past Friday night.  He was overwhelmed by watching Annette's joy.   This is the same man who sobbed the day we got married when he walked Annette down the aisle to be seated with her parents. She has touched his heart in ways no one else has...

This photo says so much about him.

It is one of my very favorites.  He is my favorite.

A Night to Shine: Part 2

I am back...with fresh kleenex and a good night's rest. I left off yesterday with the escorts arrival.  Let me tell you a little back story about the escorts.  Scott was the initial escort, the one who was planning on taking Annette to the dance...well then others wanted "in" on the date.  Technically each guest was only allowed one escort/buddy to the dance.  I didn't like that so much so I asked my friend Beth if there was any way around that "rule".  No one wanted to miss it.  She said she would see what she could do.  Jack and Max were ruled out due to age, you had to be 16 to go to the prom.  That left Drew and Tommy....well Drew has always had a real passion for those with special needs, he serves with me at church in the Hand in Hand classroom, he has a friend at school that relies on him...so Drew won that.  Tommy was relegated to driver, babysitter for the evening.

And one more side note...Annette chose the ties Drew and Scott both wore.  She had several to choose from for each of them and she knew exactly which ones she wanted them to wear.

After the boys arrived to get the lovely Queen we headed towards the limousine pick up area.  This was exciting.  We had been talking a LOT about this.   We initially were told at training that each guest would have their own limo ride.  That was not the case.  But....alas...I had "volunteered" to take photos of a guest in a limo for the church.  That was a requirement from the Tim Tebow Foundation...somebody has to do it.  Guess it might as well be me.  We walked to the doors and saw 2 "limo" busses...and then we saw it.  A stretch white hummer limousine....Annette's mouth dropped.  "That's the one Susan.  That one is for me."  and before anyone could ask any more questions we beelined it to the limo...just our family.  Jack and Max were still along as they had been at church watching Annette get ready...I missed snapping photos of them with the Queen.  ugh.

Annette's first limo ride.  She loved it.  Scott spent much of the ride wiping tears from his eyes as she oooed and awed over every detail.

Then we arrived...the event was held at the community center, which is across the street from our church...but the limo took the long way around a few miles stretch to get us there.  And then the doors opened...and the Queen stepped onto the red carpet.  The paparazzi was there cheering, flashes were going and Annette was SHINING.  She was so excited she nearly left her escorts behind in the dust.  It was cold...and that didn't matter to anyone outside.  The cheering and the smiles were contagious.

 From there they went for their official red carpet photos...taken by yours truly. 

And then....after some time to mingle and chat it was time for the Grand March.  Annette had talked with me about the Grand March.  She knew what it was and she knew she had never been a part of one...I couldn't sneak in for photos.  I was volunteering to snap the official red carpet photos.  (part of my ploy to have an "inside" view of the evening and I really did LOVE capturing all of the guests and having the privilege of telling them how beautiful and handsome they were)  Thankfully I have friends who take photos and captured these for me.

"And announcing the arrival of Queen Annette"

And onto the dinner and dance...and a message from Tim Tebow himself where he said via video

"It is my honor right now to name every single one of you the Queen or King of the Prom.  But guys more importantly than that, that's how God looks at you every single day of your life.  That's how important you are, that is how special you are and that is how very much YOU are loved. "

and then...the music began and in Scott's words "It was like everyone was shot out of a cannon. Not one person was sitting."  He was right.  Every single person was out there dancing, some in wheelchairs, some with no sight, some with no hearing...it didn't matter.  It didn't matter if you had rhythm or not.  It didn't matter if you could dance....it was pure joy on that dance floor.  They had to push tables away to make the dance floor even bigger than it already was...and every single buddy/escort was out dancing too.  Scott and Drew were out dancing.  Scott does not dance but for Annette you bet he was dancing.  I think Annette sat for one dance.  One and that was because she was thirsty.  It didn't last long and we were all back on the floor with her.  

At some point I snuck away to get a tiara for myself so we could re pose our childhood photo with a much improved tiara...this beats the aluminum foil one Aunt Sandy made for us during our Miss Edina/Miss Arlington Pageant in the late 1970's.

 To be honest Annette wasn't so sure when I came back with a crown...she let it be known that I was NOT a Prom Queen tonight.  That I was just her cousin wearing a tiara...fine by me. We danced the night away...I tried hard not to sob as I watched her shining.  

We shut the place down...and ended the night with a photo of Queen Annette in her thrown.  And I may note that she has added a blue silk wrist corsage in the past hour.  She was offered one earlier in the night but she chose to only wear the real one Scott had given to her...but as the night went on she told Scott she decided she wanted both.  And she wanted a blue one.  So leave it to Scott...to go on a mission to find the remaining corsages left.  He even sent his friend Frank back over to the church to search high and low and NOT to come back without a blue corsage.  And whatever the Queens wishes are...we make them happen.  

This was a Night to SHINE...it was all about Annette!  It was all about the 249 other guests our church had invited.  There was NOT a person in that space that was not smiling.  There was NOT a person that did not feel blessed.  It was the MOST UNBELIEVABLE evening...there was SUCH a feeling of GOD and such a feeling of HIS unconditional love.  The majority of the guests had buddies/escorts they had never met before and you wouldn't not have known that.  They poured themselves into making this night be perfect!  This event has been prayed over for months and God showed up in a BIG way.

...part 3 coming soon. 

A Night to Shine: Part 1

I tried to start this blog post yesterday, and found myself still lacking the words to use to express myself.  I am trying again today, with my box of kleenex nearby just in case.  This may take a couple of posts for me to get my words out and pictures.

I feel like I have to back up before I share about the night itself.   I know I have shared on my blog before about my cousin Annette.  She is a HUGE part of who I am as a person.  We were close growing up...I probably didn't realize until I was 10 or so that she was any different than me.  And once I did understand that I feel like it made me more aware of her, and of loving her.  Our family all loved Annette with great passion.  All of the cousins let her go first, let her win, let her be the princess of every holiday...it was our joy to allow her those moments.  We were, after all, a family.  That is what you do.  And many of us were very close in age...and we knew Annette was extra special!  We all teased each other in fun, and joked a lot, but at the end of the day...Annette was ours and we all knew that and appreciated that.  We were kind of a team.

Fast forward to college, I knew I wanted to be a teacher from a young age...and then when it was time to think about what kind of teacher...I knew Special Education was the place for me.  It was something I knew, something I was comfortable with...something that didn't intimidate me like it did others.  That was an easy decision.

Fast forward to my Love...and watching his relationship with Annette grow...from "He's too old dump him"...her first words to me upon meeting him Spring of 1994.... to..."so am I in the wedding or not" in the fall of 1994 when we were just engaged.  Of course she was in the wedding...she just had to decide what she wanted to do.  So "Bridesmaid of Honor" it was...tailored to exactly what she wanted for the day.  "I want to look like a bridesmaid, I want the dress, the jewelry, the flowers but I want Scott to walk me in and I want to sit with my Mom and Dad'.  Yep, we can do that Annette, easy.

To say Annette holds a special place in my heart is an understatement.  She has molded my heart in ways that no one else on this earth could have.  She has inspired me and shaped me.  She has shown me God given gifts that I may never have discovered without loving her.  There is huge place in my heart for her...always has been, and always will be.  So when I heard our church was going to host a Prom for adults with special needs....I was ALL over calling to see if she could come.  Thank the Lord for people like Tim Tebow and his foundation that realized that this night, " A Night to Shine", could fill a spot in so many peoples lives.  NOT just the person with special needs...but their families too.  What a gift for everyone.  

Annette and I have been talking for months about this event.  We have texted and texted again about the details...I have answered questions...we had it all researched out.  We were prepared for a fun Prom.  But nothing could have prepared me for that day...for the amount of love and joy my  heart would feel.  My heart hurt...in a good way...but it felt like it was going to burst.

It started with leaving the house.  We had to be at church by 3 to make all of the "appointments' with the hair and make up people.  Annette was nervous and eating tums.  I was excited and eating tums.  As much as we had planned for this night...it was here and there was a buzz in the air.  I pulled Jack and Max out of school because they didn't want to miss seeing her get all dolled up.  They weren't old enough to go to the dance so this was the most they could be a part of.  

First it was hair...a side pony was suggested by her stylist and was a perfect plan with the hair clip that her Mom had found that had rhinestones in it.  

Then onto make up...where Annette warned the lady she may steal her blue eye shadow she liked it so much.  When she looked into the mirror at the end she said "I just went from normal to beautiful"...how do you think my tears did?  The smile on her face could have lit up the town.  And we didn't even have the dress on yet.  

Onto the bathroom to change...and then my "ugly" cry about came....to see her all done up, this dress I had seen photos of on...it was all I could handle.  I don't have any daughters, but I can imagine this is the exact feeling you would have on your daughter's wedding day.  To see her feeling so beautiful, and so excited about an event.  And knowing how special she felt...that heart of mine grew and nearly burst, again. 

I had the privilege of putting on her shoes for her as she sat down...the bathroom had a stool that she sat upon.   I felt like I was with Cinderella at the ball.  I could think of all of those times where Annette may not have felt a part of things, where she missed events other kids and young adults attended...and in the placing of those shoes that all was washed away in my mind.  And I knew it was going to be like that for every single person attending the Prom that evening.  This was THEIR time to SHINE!  I realized the name of this Prom, "A Night to Shine" was just perfect.

We walked down the hallways of church while people oohed and ahhed over Annette, her dress, her hair...and she was shining!   Absolutely shining!  We waited for her escorts to come...and they came with flowers and sparkle. 

....to be continued