Numbers Aren't Everything

Numbers aren't Everything 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/29/2016

Just walking in the door from another day at Mayo.  The Dr was very encouraged at how good mom feels and looks.  SO much better than the last time we saw him and she was feeling so very crummy.  He used the word "encouraged" several times and we love that word.   Her blood labs looked stable and strong enough to do another round of immunotherapy and so he ordered that.  He doesn't know what to attribute her feeling and looking so good to, maybe it is this immunotherapy, maybe it's the low dose steroid she is on and maybe, it is just prayers to a BIG God?  We don't need to know the reason, we are just not going to stop ANY of those things.  

After her Immunotherapy treatment we did get one more of the blood work numbers back that was previously not completed, for Ovarian Cancer people in the "know" it is her CA125 number...it did rise which is not what we want.  THAT being said, numbers are NOT everything her Dr said AND they didn't double, which is a good thing as well.  He is choosing to make that number a non important piece of this puzzle.   I never did like math anyhow so I am choosing to ignore this number as well.  (sorry Mr. Bart Larson if you are reading this)

What I am choosing to believe in, is the power of prayer, the power of encouraging friends and the power of love!  Cancer, as most diseases, is a battle that includes physical, spiritual and emotional fights.  It isn't all about the labs, the numbers, the treatments...those things matter don't get me wrong, but it is also a LOT about attitude, peace, grace, love, laughter and most of all a faith in a God who has a plan, who has this all under control.  Thank YOU again for praying, for loving us all well, for bringing laughter and joy to all of us.  We are so grateful to you all.  We are so grateful for all of the love we feel for Mom, and for all the ways she is celebrated.  

Keep praying.  God IS listening.  We go back to Mayo in 3 weeks for yet another treatment.  Until then we ask for prayers for Mom to continue to feel well, for days of quiet contentment, for laughter with friends, for grandchildren to come and go and above all for God to get the glory for all the goodness.

Quick Update

Quick Update 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/27/2016

Good afternoon...it is SO nice to have some fall weather to enjoy!  Mom loves the windows cracked open, so this is her time for fresh air.  It has been busy lately, so many people stopping in and visiting.  Mom is feeling well, we don't know if it's the steroids helping, the immunotherapy working or just God giving her a wonderful reprieve.  It doesn't matter, we are just SO grateful.  We enjoy every single minute of it.  We thank God for every day.  

Aunt Donna went home to Arizona after her visit, Ariana came in this weekend again, Max and I popped in for an overnight, Mike, Cara, Charlie and Alice visit almost daily.  Mom has even felt like cooking a couple of days, which is SO wonderful.  She made Dad's favorite chili this weekend and taught Ariana her secret recipe for Chicken Noodle Soup.  So many friends have dropped off food, hugs, flowers and cards...it is amazing to be surrounded by SO MUCH LOVE!  Thank you.

We do go to Mayo again on Thursday, we will see what the blood work is saying and look at doing yet another Immunotherapy treatment.  We are always praying for the miracle.  We would appreciate your prayers for this trip, as always...

For those of you who know me, you KNOW there is nothing more precious to me than family...other than maybe pictures of family.  Being that I am typically the one behind the camera I hired a photographer to capture some moments of Mom and me yesterday at the Arboretum.(Sarah Sundahl Photography)  I will attach one of my favorites that I got back today as a sneak peek.   I have been blessed with the best, and I don't take that for granted.  

Thank you for your prayers and love.  

Counting the Blessings...

Counting the blessings... 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/19/2016

Aunt Donna is visiting from Arizona.  She came on Friday...and is headed around the state of Minnesota now visiting the rest of the Abners.  It was fun to have her there for the weekend.  We enjoyed some delicious homemade goodies from Benson friends as well as many others.  We are so grateful for the many offers to help.

Veda and Kale came Saturday morning for a few hours as they were in town for a wedding.  It was fun to catch up with them and they loved the time with Grandma and Grandpa.  Veda has a new hair color, we call it strawberry, it brought smiles to our faces to see her so proud of her work.

Charlie and Alice are always in and out and Alice almost always announces her arrival loud enough for ALL of the neighbors to hear, Mom loves that the most.
I was grateful to be there all weekend as well.  We love to count our blessings over and over and over again.

Mom is feeling about the same.  The steroids are really keeping her headaches away and her nausea at bay.  God is giving her a wonderful reprieve from feeling crummy.  We pray there is healing happening inside her body as well.  We don't ever give up that hope and prayer. Mom is sparkling as always.  We will have more labs done in about 2 weeks to see what is going on with the cancer, until then we pray for the miracle.

In the meantime we enjoy every moment, take time to be intentional in all we do and snuggle as much as possible.  There is so much laughter happening.  Thanks for all of the cards and mail.  Feel free to keep those coming, mail is always a bright spot 9608 Falcons Way EP, MN 55347.

Ariana comes back this next weekend for a visit.  Tommy and all of our boys the following.  Just like Mom and Dad like it...a steady stream of grandchildren visiting...best medicine around.

I will leave you with this cute picture of Donna and Mom from yesterday on the front steps...

Homecoming Time

Drew asked his friend Olivia Penland to homecoming one night after her volleyball game.  His other friends Ashlyn and Antonia made the sign for him, I brought the flowers to school...and voila.  He has a date.

Apple Picking

Apple Picking 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/12/2016

Ever since Ariana was about 2, she and Mom would go apple picking together every fall.  They may have missed a couple of years in the past 26 years, but not many.  Today Dad took them out to pick some apples.  Ariana sent me this picture and I couldn't resist adding in one of our favorite pics of her apple picking with Grandma when she was probably 3-4 years old.

We continue to pray for our miracle on earth while traveling a parallel path of the possibility of the healing being in heaven.  We are being intentional with our days and conversations.  We are so very grateful for the many blessings we continue to count.  We appreciate how very blessed we are to love each other so BIG.  We appreciate your prayers and sweet words of encouragement.  We are praying that this immunotherapy is working in Mom's body, while we are trusting in God's promises. 

Fall Garden

Fall Garden 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/8/2016

What a blessing to come home from Mayo to Mom and Dad's house today to find an amazing fall garden of flowers. Lovingly delivered and arranged by dear family friends. What a gift. See the picture and it captures some of the beauty. Tear filled eyes when we laid eyes on those. It may have brought upon the "ugly cry" even.


We have an apple pie in the oven from the freezer. It sounded good to Mom and what she wishes we do. She is the queen after all. And today would have been my Grandma Lu's birthday so what better way to celebrate her than apple pie.


That being said we had a long day at Mayo. The blood labs were not what we had hoped. Ugh. Stinks to be honest. But it is what it is for today. Deep breath. We had a great conversation with the Doctor. He is amazing, so caring and kind. He told us while the immunotherapy has yet to work there is a tiny chance it could work. We serve a big God and if he so chooses He can do a miracle in Mom immunotherapy or not. 


So here we are bottom of the 9th...bases loaded. We are still praying for that miracle. At the same time we are reaching out to others locally to be sure that Mom has all the care and support she needs right here. Thank you for the notes, cards, emails and flowers. 


Please continue to pray for a miracle. Pray for healing. Pray for sweet moments, laughter and smiles through the tears.


P.S. Saturday is the MOCA walk. If you want to join Dad and Mike they will be there walking in honor of Mom. 9:45 am. You can meet them at the playground before the walk. Mom and I will sit this one out together.

Adding in some pics from our day at Mayo...always try to park on floor 4 or floor 6 somehow it make my family closer to me on these days. 

 This is what we look like when we cry a lot and we are tired...it's the real deal.  So often times we opt for another view...like our cute shoes and feet and hand holding.  

                         These flowers were breathtaking....so well loved Mom and Dad are....

In typical Mom fashion she had me out on the front step by 8 am re-doing the flowers.  Pulling out the geraniums and repotting the mums into those spots.  She directed and I listened.  She watched from the chair on the steps.  I love how she always knows JUST what she wants and isn't afraid to tell me what that is...

Proof

Proof 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/5/2016

Proof that we are soaking in the love. 5 of 9 grands spent the weekend at the cabin. Lots of giggles and snuggles. Sweet prayers and quiet tears. Trusting and believing that God can perform a miracle. We love BIG no matter what. God knows the plan. Back to Mayo on Thursday we will go...


Thank you for the kind words and the prayers. We never doubt how very much we are loved and covered in prayer.

Plan A

Plan A 

Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 9/1/2016

I was listening to a sermon series yesterday called "Plan B" and how God never has a Plan B. He only knows Plan A. He is never surprised by anything. He goes before us in all we do. He prepares a place for us. He has a plan and it is always his A plan. 


We have had many plans in Mom's cancer journey. I think we may be at Plan J or K by now. But it's just that...those are OUR plans and not His. Not His "A" plan. 


We received some devastating news today. We ended up at Mayo today as Mom's double vision has gotten worse. They did a spinal tap and the results are showing there is cancer in her spinal fluid as well as this same fluid that bathes the brain. Ugh. I cannot believe I am writing this in regards to my beautiful mom. 


What does this mean? It means that the cancer is spreading. Has spread. Again. We are still praying for the miracle of immunotherapy to do something. If God wants to perform a miracle. He can. 


So now what...


We will go again next week to Mayo to have another round of immunotherapy. And talk with moms main doc there too. 


We cannot live these days curled up in the fetal position sobbing can we? That's what I want to do.  


Here is what I am telling myself. This world is a blink of an eye. God tells us that. This world is NOT our eternal home. This is earth. Earth and this world are full of sin, sickness and yuck. Heaven is not. Eternity with Jesus is not. We need to place our focus on that. The time we are apart from Mom will not be forever. Selfishly it's too long for me. I want to have my mom by my side when I die. But. That being said. We have to focus on the forever Jesus promises us.  


John 14:1-7


1“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God ; believe also in me. 2My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going.”


Jesus the Way to the Father


5Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”


6Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”


I have to focus on His promise of forever. And trust that we believe in Him and have confessed with our mouths that Jesus is lord we will live forever in heaven as healed children of God. Together. Forever.  


I have to believe in this. This was not our plan. And I don't understand God's plan. And I certainly think it stinks right now and it hurts. And it makes me so very angry. But I have to believe that God is using Mom's cancer story for someone who needs it. God is using our family and our faith for something bigger. Maybe it's for a loved one of ours to see gods love through us. And maybe we will never know. But He knows  


I have to believe all of this and I have to believe in the power of healing and eternal life. 


Every day is to be enjoyed. Every moment. Mom is so so so so very much loved. Don't get me wrong we are still praying on our knees for that miracle. That Mom will be that one miracle. And I won't stop praying this until Jesus heals her on earth or in heaven. We ask you to do the same. 


Pray for mom. Pray for dad. Pray for all of us. Pray for God's peace that surpasses all our understanding. Pray for precious moments and memories. Pray for comfort in God's promised words.