I am waiting for pictures to upload for the yearbook. Max is currently wandering with the vacuum pieces but not ready to nap yet. And as these pictures go on my screen it's like the years are flashing before me. I watched Jack's class photos just upload..2nd grade...then the 3rd graders...the 4th graders...then Drew and the 5th graders...and I feel like that is how life is right now. Tommy is in 7th grade. 5 1/2 years and he will be graduating from High School. His little life is flashing before my eyes like these photos that are uploading. It's all in a blink of an eye..
What will our boys remember? Will they remember the tired Mom? The Mom who sometimes doesn't have time to hear what they have to say? The Mom who gets her face glued to a magazine or a blog or a tv show? Or will they remember the Mom that bakes them cookies after school? Folds their laundry? Or the Mom who disciplines them, grounds them and makes them stay accountable to their words and actions? What will they remember?
Will they remember the vacations I work so hard to plan? The groceries I buy? The smiles I give? Will they remember the smile on my face when we have been apart? Will they remember my busyness? Will they remember seeing me reading my bible? Will they remember their Mom and Dad holding hands, kissing and loving each other?
What do they really see? From their perspectives? What will they remember?
I know what I want them to remember...
will they remember my impatience? my harsh words? My short fuse? Will they remember the feeling of love their Mom has for them? Do they know beyond a doubt they are loved, and were wanted and that they are special. Do they know our dreams for them are that they love God and know Him above all else?
What will they really remember?
What will our boys remember? Will they remember the tired Mom? The Mom who sometimes doesn't have time to hear what they have to say? The Mom who gets her face glued to a magazine or a blog or a tv show? Or will they remember the Mom that bakes them cookies after school? Folds their laundry? Or the Mom who disciplines them, grounds them and makes them stay accountable to their words and actions? What will they remember?
Will they remember the vacations I work so hard to plan? The groceries I buy? The smiles I give? Will they remember the smile on my face when we have been apart? Will they remember my busyness? Will they remember seeing me reading my bible? Will they remember their Mom and Dad holding hands, kissing and loving each other?
What do they really see? From their perspectives? What will they remember?
I know what I want them to remember...
will they remember my impatience? my harsh words? My short fuse? Will they remember the feeling of love their Mom has for them? Do they know beyond a doubt they are loved, and were wanted and that they are special. Do they know our dreams for them are that they love God and know Him above all else?
What will they really remember?
Oh this made me cry.
ReplyDeleteMakes me cry, too - being a mom isn't for wimps. Even just emotionally it's hard, then add in the physical and mental demands. Thank goodness it's the most wonderful job in the world and makes everything else worth it!
ReplyDeleteTotally touching post, Susan.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts mirror yours. Every day I pray to be a better Mom...I pray to be more patient, to take more time, to listen to every word, to teach, to encourage. Some days are easier than others. I really don't know what I would do without prayer. I don't think I could be the Mom I am without the knowledge that God's love for us is all encompassing, and as such, mine needs to be the same for my children. Thank you for the subtle reminders that you often post, they make ponder about what I can do to be a better mother.
ReplyDeleteI love that you take time to reflect on things like being a mom.I don't know how your boys could look back and not remember how much you love and accept them for just who God made them to be.
ReplyDeleteI have so many of those same thoughts. Mothering is not an easy thing and not for those faint of heart. I always seem to compare myself to my own thoughts of growing up with my parents. I try to do everything that I remember as "right" and remember the moments when I felt so small - I try not to "go there" with my kids. I think a lot of my weight issues stemmed from my childhood and things that were said.
ReplyDelete