Today has been one of those days...and it's only 10:15 am. Anxiety is hitting me today, my list feels long, my house feels messy, laundry has piled back up, picture editing is piled high, I am behind on the blog and so much else... I feel very out of sorts. It all started out with a terrible nights sleep. Think I slept 3 hours maybe. The cough that never seems to end despite meds. And get this....I forgot to take the cough syrup with codeine at bedtime but then didn't want to get up and take it for fear I would get into too deep of a sleep and I was walking with a friend at 5:45 am. After I got home from the walk I did crawl back into bed for a catnap after Max covered me with blankets, how could I resist.
Worst of all...it's the last day of summer for the boys and I want to crawl back into bed and cry. Cry because I am overwhelmed, cry because summer is over and I feel like I failed in so many ways...we didn't do so many things I had wanted to. Another summer where I didn't want to go to the pool much due to my own body image....cry because after today...the boys have homework stress again. They have plates that are full of school, sports, church activities and they have to juggle those. I get anxiety for them over that stuff.
So what am I choosing to do before we have back to school day with teachers at noon, golf group lesson at 1(that we bought in May), and football practices at 3:30 and 6? See the schedule is crazy even today...I am trying to figure out how we can squeeze in family dinners with one whose football ends at 5 and one that begins at 6, I figure that gives us time to eat between 5:24-5:34 nights a week
So I am working on praying this anxiety away....and leaving the mess and the piles and the stuff to do....and going to a place called Zombie Burger...the boys wanted to go all summer. Sounds like boys dream restaurant...it's a long ways from my Laura Ashley Hotel Sofitel lunches I craved as a teenager, or Vie De France....But this is where I live, as a boymom and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am praying my boys DID have a great summer, and that this guilt I have over letting them down is just that...MY guilt, Momma guilt that often doesn't end and isn't often based on truth.
Days like these....
Worst of all...it's the last day of summer for the boys and I want to crawl back into bed and cry. Cry because I am overwhelmed, cry because summer is over and I feel like I failed in so many ways...we didn't do so many things I had wanted to. Another summer where I didn't want to go to the pool much due to my own body image....cry because after today...the boys have homework stress again. They have plates that are full of school, sports, church activities and they have to juggle those. I get anxiety for them over that stuff.
So what am I choosing to do before we have back to school day with teachers at noon, golf group lesson at 1(that we bought in May), and football practices at 3:30 and 6? See the schedule is crazy even today...I am trying to figure out how we can squeeze in family dinners with one whose football ends at 5 and one that begins at 6, I figure that gives us time to eat between 5:24-5:34 nights a week
So I am working on praying this anxiety away....and leaving the mess and the piles and the stuff to do....and going to a place called Zombie Burger...the boys wanted to go all summer. Sounds like boys dream restaurant...it's a long ways from my Laura Ashley Hotel Sofitel lunches I craved as a teenager, or Vie De France....But this is where I live, as a boymom and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am praying my boys DID have a great summer, and that this guilt I have over letting them down is just that...MY guilt, Momma guilt that often doesn't end and isn't often based on truth.
Days like these....
No guilt, friend. No guilt. Virtual hug and much love coming your way. I'm sorry today has been rough. Especially after a rough night of sleep. :( Love you. Praying for you. Praying that tomorrow is a great day.
ReplyDeleteI had guilt too. Praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI love zombie burger, :)