Summer is officially almost over...Jack starts school in 8 days. The other boys 15 days. Our house is a constant mess and lacking any order. We are in and out of the house 20 times a day. Tommy has been gone to the cabin for over a week now. Our nest feels weird to me when it's not full with all of our boys.
I love order, I love routine, I love things being predictable. Summer contains NONE of that. Every morning is a new day with a different schedule, the phone rings for someone to come over...the door bell chimes "Can _______ come out to play?". Friends stop by unannounced, we decide to grab lunch on the way home from an errand... The boys want to go golf, then they change their minds and want to go ride their bikes...then Max wants attention so they take him outside to play in the sprinklers. It's constantly changing.
While I love summer and the freedom from homework and school hours....many days it wears me out. I love fall with the return of routine, but I don't love that it comes with homework and schedules...which day what is due and what day is library etc. I am NOT a Mom who micro manages the boys' school stuff. So they are very much on their own to remember what is due, and what day things are....but my heart sort of aches for them that they have more responsibility. Does that make sense? I love summer for them to not have stuff on their mental plates.
I love order, I mean LOVE order..I could LIVE in The Container Store and be very happy....that may be the MOST difficult part for me of having children. The fact that things aren't ALWAYS in order, that our pantry gets trashed in a matter of days, that our boys don't NEED the same sense of cleanliness in their closets that I crave for them. I cannot control their desire for order. As Drew was cleaning his room this week, at my request I said to him "don't you feel SO much better when things are in order and tidy in your room? Don't you just sleep better?" and I truly meant that...his response "No Mom, I sleep fine when my room isn't clean and when my drawers are messy.".....hmmm guess that is a good reminder to me. It isn't all about me huh?
School will be here before we know it...the school supplies are laid out and backpacks packed. It's surreal how fast summer really goes. Praying daily that Jack has a great year in a new school...praying for Drew as he enters Junior High and all of the changes that brings...and sigh praying for Tommy who will be a freshman in High School. He can DRIVE now, not alone, but still he is a Driver. GULP.
There was an Olympic commercial on the other day, where the Mom only sees her kids as little...they go through the ceremony, the medal stand and she sees them as little child. Jack asked me the other day if that is how I see them. As little boys? I tried not to cry and I realized...most days...YES it is. I look over at Tommy when he is driving and I see this little 2 year old boy in his favorite baseball hat, and his Puppy tee shirt....I look at Drew when he golfs and think of him with his Snoopy Golf Club....I look at Jack as he rides his bike up and down the street a million times and see the training wheels and the Speed Racer bike.... watching them grow it's hard to see them OLDER and it's hard to Let Go and let them GROW up. And let them GROW their wings...and stretch them, and let them get banged up a bit. But it's what we are called to do as parents. Guide them, teach them...pray for them and train them up.
You can bet I have thought about our Empty Nest more than once with the absence of Tommy for the past week...it won't be long and that will be reality. I want to soak these boys in....
I love order, I love routine, I love things being predictable. Summer contains NONE of that. Every morning is a new day with a different schedule, the phone rings for someone to come over...the door bell chimes "Can _______ come out to play?". Friends stop by unannounced, we decide to grab lunch on the way home from an errand... The boys want to go golf, then they change their minds and want to go ride their bikes...then Max wants attention so they take him outside to play in the sprinklers. It's constantly changing.
While I love summer and the freedom from homework and school hours....many days it wears me out. I love fall with the return of routine, but I don't love that it comes with homework and schedules...which day what is due and what day is library etc. I am NOT a Mom who micro manages the boys' school stuff. So they are very much on their own to remember what is due, and what day things are....but my heart sort of aches for them that they have more responsibility. Does that make sense? I love summer for them to not have stuff on their mental plates.
I love order, I mean LOVE order..I could LIVE in The Container Store and be very happy....that may be the MOST difficult part for me of having children. The fact that things aren't ALWAYS in order, that our pantry gets trashed in a matter of days, that our boys don't NEED the same sense of cleanliness in their closets that I crave for them. I cannot control their desire for order. As Drew was cleaning his room this week, at my request I said to him "don't you feel SO much better when things are in order and tidy in your room? Don't you just sleep better?" and I truly meant that...his response "No Mom, I sleep fine when my room isn't clean and when my drawers are messy.".....hmmm guess that is a good reminder to me. It isn't all about me huh?
School will be here before we know it...the school supplies are laid out and backpacks packed. It's surreal how fast summer really goes. Praying daily that Jack has a great year in a new school...praying for Drew as he enters Junior High and all of the changes that brings...and sigh praying for Tommy who will be a freshman in High School. He can DRIVE now, not alone, but still he is a Driver. GULP.
There was an Olympic commercial on the other day, where the Mom only sees her kids as little...they go through the ceremony, the medal stand and she sees them as little child. Jack asked me the other day if that is how I see them. As little boys? I tried not to cry and I realized...most days...YES it is. I look over at Tommy when he is driving and I see this little 2 year old boy in his favorite baseball hat, and his Puppy tee shirt....I look at Drew when he golfs and think of him with his Snoopy Golf Club....I look at Jack as he rides his bike up and down the street a million times and see the training wheels and the Speed Racer bike.... watching them grow it's hard to see them OLDER and it's hard to Let Go and let them GROW up. And let them GROW their wings...and stretch them, and let them get banged up a bit. But it's what we are called to do as parents. Guide them, teach them...pray for them and train them up.
You can bet I have thought about our Empty Nest more than once with the absence of Tommy for the past week...it won't be long and that will be reality. I want to soak these boys in....
great post. I struggle with order too. I joked around with Cameron that someday when the kids are gone I will want to throw a cheerio or floor on the floor and step on it to make it feel like they're here :) maybe.... ;)
ReplyDeletewhoops 'cheerio or toy' instead of floor
DeleteOh how I relate to this post so much!
ReplyDeleteDitto
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteTeary at your talking about that Olympics commercial. *sigh*
Now that school has started for us I feel like the order is suffocating me. I love sleep. I love the days of summer where we can just do whatever. Homework is KILLING me! haha
ReplyDeleteGreat. The first ever post I read on your blog and I'm in tears. I may have to un-invite myself ;) Just kidding. I am going to copy this post so I can paste it to my blog when my kids are entering high school. We sound a lot alike in these areas. I'm a very sentimental mom and I know it will be hard. I see my MIL struggling to "let go" of her boys and wonder if I will be the same way. I hope God prepares me for this... For now I struggle to take in every moment and enjoy it all. Struggle because that can't always be done... see next paragraph. :)
ReplyDeleteI also crave order and it's very hard for me when things are "out of whack". I've grown in this area so much since I had Judah but it's still hard. I know God made me this way, to be orderly and productive, but sometimes it's exhausting. I wish I could be like my husband who just gets up in the morning and rolls with the punches. But if we were both that way, we would never save for retirement and we would only ever have the ingredients to make spaghetti ;) But then we probably wouldn't care either...