Keeping It Real: Project 50

I debated whether or not to write this…but here I am writing it to hold myself accountable. As a journal for myself to read and re read.   I have 50 lbs to lose.  Well I had 50, now I have 39.  Weight is a battle for me, sadly it has been for the past 13 years.  I never had to think about it as a teenager, and even in college, for the most part I stayed within the same weight give or take 10 lbs. But I have been here before…and again…and I don't want to be any longer.

Here is the biggest problem for me…SUGAR.  I love sugar.  Sugar is my Cocaine.  I really am not kidding.  Gratefully it's not alcohol, or cocaine as I would have bigger issues than the size of my jeans.  I am a sugar addict.  When I go off of sugar, after 2 weeks…I don't miss it.  I know that.  I really do.  But if I have sugar, I want more.  If I have one Oreo, I have 6 or 10.  If I have one piece of cake I have 4.  If I have one warm chocolate chip cookie I want 5 or 10.  And so on….  It's real.  It sounds silly, but it's HARD.    I don't drink pop, I don't drink coffee…I don't drink wine, or beer…but put some sweet thing in front of me and BOOM…I am weak.

I want my body to be healthy.  I want to live as a long as I possibly can, I want to see my boys grow up, my grandchildren and I need to eat healthier to ensure that.  YES I need to exercise too, but eating is 80% of health and I have NOT been doing a good job of it.  IF I could live off of sugar, pasta and bread I would.  But I cannot.

I want to honor God in how I eat.  This body is the temple He lives in, that He has given to me and I want to fuel it well.  I don't want to be a "Food Glutton"…if that's even a word or phrase?  I want to set an example for our boys.

Selfishly I want to feel like I look good, I want to like my body again.  I want to be strong, athletic and healthy.  I don't want to feel like I have to hide my body day after day after day.  I don't want to have to shop for clothes that hide me.  I want that weight off my body and my mind.  I know some of you relate.  It brings me to tears to be honest.  I don't want to cry when I look in the mirror.  I know God doesn't want that for me either.

I have been here before, I have lost the weight AND I have gained it back.  I am tired of this…so very tired.  It's just time to change for me.  It's time to love me enough to push through the hard and make a change.

I really would appreciate your prayers…this isn't easy.  Food seriously has this stronghold on me, and I really want it to be gone.  Some of you have never had to worry about weight, but I know I am not alone.  It's hard.  I am praying a lot and need all the prayers I can get while I change my mindset, I cannot do it without God's help.  I am sure of that.  

Sanibel Island

One week from today I will be landing in Florida…headed to Sanibel Island, just me…my Mom and my Dad.  Yes, you read that right I am going on a trip with my parents at 42 years old.  Why? How? do you ask…

5 years ago I took my Mom to California for her 70th birthday, we went to Palm Springs for 5 days of sun, pool, reading, movies in our room, eating out and spa time.  This year as Mom approaches 75 she wanted to treat me to a trip, this time to one of our family favorite spots…Sanibel Island.  She called this fall during a "harder than most weeks" for this busy Mom and surprised me with this plan.  About 2 days later my Dad called me…if you don't know yet, I am a Daddy's girl…and he asked if he could possibly come too on our girl's trip.  How could I say no to that?  How many grown adults get to go away on a trip, with no distractions, with their parents?  Not many.

I am getting so excited, I am building up my list of books to bring and read, I am planning for the boys…I am grateful for such a supportive husband who is happy for me to get some "me" time.  I am working on letting go of the Mama guilt for doing this for me and only me.

I am excited for this retreat, I am excited for walks on the beach, for uninterrupted time with my parents…I know not everyone has both of their parents healthy, not everyone has both of their parents still happily married, and not everyone would want to spend 6 days with their parents alone like me…. I am so very grateful for this gift of mine.

Basketball for Drew

This is Drew's last week of basketball…so I finally took my camera to last night's game to capture some of the action.  Drew plays 8th grade basketball for our school.  He has had a fun year and has enjoyed basketball a lot.  Yesterday's game he had a beautiful 3 pointer to tie the game.  The game went into overtime and we ended up losing.  So close.  Enjoy the action,…and the halftime show!

 Halftime show by Max

 game close…some of my favorite fans in the stands

Buckeye Tee in Ethiopia

Tilahun is the young boy we began sponsoring over a year ago at Trees of Glory school in Ethiopia.  We have been able to send care packages to him but before today have not seen any updated photos of him.  These JUST came through my email tonight…and I couldn't wait to share them.  This is from the care package we sent to him in November.  I LOVE that we got photos of him holding pictures of us…and of course the boys insisted our boy in Ethiopia had a Buckeye tee of his own.

Love this boy we don't know and LOVE that we can be a part of his life in a way.

Oh how I love his smile.  He is sitting with a translator and a volunteer from the team that went on the trip.

What a difference a year makes…look at that sparkle and joy in his eye.  Praying he is loving Jesus!  Know that he is learning all about Him in school!

They have added 50 more children to the Trees of Glory care point.  It is part of the larger Christian organization called Children Hope Chest.  If you have any interest you can contact Karen Winstrom directly.  

My Dad's Hands

There has ALWAYS been something about my Dad's hands that I have loved so much.  He has really strong hands, and pretty big fingers which we have teased him about.  He has a fingernail that has never grown back right, I believe it was from slamming it in the door as a child.  He has a gold wedding band on his ring finger that he never takes off, it's simple and I love it.  I love it so much the one I gave to Scott when we got married looks almost exactly the same.

When my parents were here this past weekend for Max's birthday we went to church on Sunday.  It ended up that I got to sit by my Dad.  And as he always does, he put his arm around me.  I love that about him.  I love nestling into his shoulder still at 42 years old.  I love that he grabs my shoulder with his hand and squeezes it every so often.  Max bounced back and forth from my lap, to Tommy's lap, to my Dad's lap during church.  He talked Papa into taking him out to the bathroom once even too.

While I don't think my Dad noticed I snapped this photo during church.  These are moments I LOVE cameras on phones.   I took it just as a reminder to me of my Dad's hands…and how safe and secure I have ALWAYS felt with him.  He is protective of me, still…to this day.  I love that.  Scott is protective of me, it was one of the very first things I noticed of him when we started dating…it's one of my favorite things.

I feel so blessed to have the relationship with my Dad that I have.  I don't take him for granted.  I know not all little girls have been so blessed.  I know I have friends whose Dad's are no longer on this earth and my heart aches for them.   My heart is so grateful.  God is SO good to have chosen my Dad for me.   I treasure my Dad….and now I am crying.  Love you Dad.  XOXO

And this… "So that you may see clearly"

And He knew I needed to read this as well….

so that you may see clearly

Text: Acts 9:1-19

Yesterday we read words from Paul to the Corinthians. Today we’re taking a step back in time to learn more about Paul’s story.

The Saul we are reading about today is the same man we read about named Paul. Have I confused you yet?

Talk about a fresh start—an amazing story of redemption and new beginning.

Let’s first look at how God used Paul, a changed man. A man covered by grace from the Most High.

• He took 3 long missionary journeys, planting churches, preaching the gospel and encouraging his fellow believers.
• Paul had a gift of explaining the gospel in a way that resonates with us today just as it did many years ago.

Would you believe that this same man was at one time persecuting the believers? Paul wasn’t just a non-believer, he was actively seeking out men and women who were following Christ: throwing them in jail or worse, killing them.

But God chose Him. He met Saul and blinded him, so that he might see the truth.

Do you look at your past and believe the lies that you’re too messy to clean up? Too broken to be fixed? Are you struggling to believe that His grace and forgiveness covers whatever is in your past?

Paul tells us later on in Ephesians 2:8, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” (NIV)

It is a gift. It is by grace.
There is nothing you can do to make Him love you more.
There is no sin too great for Him.
There is no stain He can’t wash away.

Saul was walking down a path of destruction: God met Saul where he was.

Ask Him today to meet you where you are. He will. It may not look the way you expect—you may be blinded so that you might see clearly. But Sister, there is a fresh start and a new beginning just waiting to be given to you.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:38-39, NIV, emphasis added)

The God Moment that Changes Everything

God knew I needed to read this TODAY….

The God Moment that Changes Everything Kyle Idleman

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!'" Luke 15:17 (NIV)

Not long ago, one of my daughters set my phone alarm tone to match that of her favorite animal. It's labeled "Horses Neighing." It should be called "Death by Stampede." At 5:30 in the morning my alarm went off and I shot straight up, wide-awake, a stampede charging through my bedroom.

While changing it back to my standard alarm, I noticed a wide array of other options. Some of the sounds wouldn't do anything to get me up, like the one labeled "Harp." It trills a soft melody, and just listening to it makes me sleepy.

The most effective alarm ringtone for me is labeled "Old Car Horn." Think in terms of a house alarm that you can hear on the other side of the neighborhood. Now imagine that you are sleeping inside the speaker. It's highly effective. And the great thing is this alarm has a unique backup system that's almost fail proof – my wife.

But here's what I've discovered: the effectiveness of any alarm is in direct correlation to how much you don't want to hear it. In other words, until your desire not to hear the alarm outweighs your desire to keep sleeping—you're not going to wake up.

Similarly, a sudden awakening takes place when God finally gets our attention. The alarm sounds, and this time we hear it. We immediately become aware of our present circumstances and the reality that something must change.

The Prodigal Son experienced this in Luke 15. After taking his inheritance money from his father, wasting it and reduced to feeding pigs, the Bible tells us the son,"came to his senses ..."

At this point the son sat straight up and suddenly realized what his life had become. When he ran away, he'd never thought his journey would have that ending. But now life had his attention, and he knew things had to change.

Have you ever had a moment like this? The Holy Spirit opens your eyes, and you see something that you had somehow missed before. You have a startling realization that changes everything.

You realize you've been trying to live out the Christian life from your own power and strength rather than out of the power of the Holy Spirit.

You realize you weren't actually following Jesus; you were just following a list of rules and rituals.

You realize you spent so much of your life wrestling with guilt and shame, because you thought being good enough would save you.

And then suddenly you realize a truth. That truth has always been true, but for some reason, you just didn't see it before. Like the Prodigal Son, it was the right time and the right place, and finally realization woke you up and brought you to your senses. AHA!

This is an "AHA" moment, and within the parable of the Prodigal Son, I discovered there are three ingredients that are present in every AHA experience.

1. A Sudden Awakening
2. Brutal Honesty
3. Immediate Action

If there is an awakening and honesty, but no action, then AHA doesn't happen. If there is awakening and action, but honesty is overlooked, AHA will be short-lived.

But when God's Word and the Holy Spirit bring these three things together in your life, you will experience AHA—a God-given moment that changes everything.

Today if you are finally hearing the alarm and realizing you are far from your Heavenly Father, know you can turn to Him. Luke 15 shows us that God is a loving Father who is merciful, gracious, and caring. No matter how far we wander from God, He wants to do more than just help us—He wants to save us. And it starts with AHA.

Dear Lord, help me to see the areas of my life that need transformation. Please give me a genuine Awakening, help me to be Honest with myself, and be with me as I take Action. Jesus, I surrender my life to you, and I thank You for the work You're doing in my life! In Jesus' Holy Name I pray. Amen.

Another Driver in the House

On Saturday, Scott decided to let Drew drive home after a quick stop at Walmart.  Now let's remember that Drew has NEVER driven before, other than in fields on the farm in Ohio.  No parking lot practice, no cemetery street practice…NOTHING!  He JUST got his permit on Thursday.  Scott said he could drive…Drew asked,  "Shouldn't we start out in a parking lot practicing?"…Scott's response… "we are in a parking lot now"….

yep he drove home...

At this rate Max's first drive will be on the Interstate.

Happy 4th Birthday Max!

Max turned 4 years old on Saturday…what a BIG day!

                                                 

 This is what was heard within 10 minutes of him waking up on Saturday morning.

Birthday presents in the morning…Jack made him a book to keep his Skylander cards in, Tommy gave him 3 Skylanders and Drew gave him an Octonauts ship.  

A cinnamon roll for breakfast, from Pella.  (Drew had a game there Friday night)

So EXCITED to be 4!  Thanks Mom and Dad for the great "4" tee shirt!

My parents came down to watch Drew and Tommy play basketball and to be here for the birthday boy.  We met them at Chick Fil A for Max's birthday lunch.  The manager even gave Max a Chick Fil A cow as a present.  

 A great birthday sign made by his big cousin Charlie!

 I blame my friends Sarah and Makila for getting me into thematic birthday parties and Pinterest too…so much fun.  Even Brutus, our goldfish, made the centerpiece decor.

 Walking through "seaweed" to get into the party.

 lol, not a great pic, but the ONLY one of the "kids table"

 Max made the invite list, and the Minors, and the Oakes family made the list.  As well as his beloved Mrs. Ruth and her family, our beloved Miss Emily and her family, and the Mom's of his friends.

 Jack and his friend Josh ran the "Pin the Patch on Kwazzi" game

 Drew and Jack helped the kids make their Ziploc Aquarium bags.

 The Oakes…note Mr. Oakes in his color coordinated to the party shirt.

 Happy Birthday sweet boy…

Hinckley, his big sister McKay, Max, Blakely, Leo and Andrew

 Sweet Baby Quade

 Not so great of Max, but Mrs. Ruth, Mr. Marc and Josh and a BIG deal to Max

 One of his favorites…an Octonauts ship from the Oakes!

 Can you tell he likes the Minors a little bit.

The Rethmeiers...

 Door decor, thanks to big cousin Alice and Aunt Cara for the 4 necklace, he wouldn't leave it on but it looked great on the front door. 

We had so much fun celebrating this boy…we love him so VERY much.