I don't want a new, better life in 2016.

Happy New Year!  I have so much to catch up on, but first....I want to be sure I copy and pasted this blog post that I read yesterday in here to keep.  I loved the words...

This is from the Blog Momastry, and the author, Glennon, spoke at Women of Faith this past fall.

Tish woke up sick at 4 and Amma at 6. Might not seem like conditions for the best New Year’s Day ever — but here’s the skinny on that.

Sick time is my time to shine.

I’m not that amazing at other motherly things like cooking or being patient or for God’s sake — playing. But I can hold back a sister’s hair like a boss. I can coo and cluck and rub tiny little backs. I can say,”Oh baby. That’s right — get it all out. Mommy’s here, honey.”

When they’re sick — they want me. They want me the most. They need me. And they need me to just BE. To just hold them and not leave them. And I do it. I show up and stay close and I DO it. And I just feel so grateful, there rubbing their backs. I just feel so incredibly useful and so grateful that someone needs me so much and that I am capable of providing exactly what she needs.

Because what is better than:

“This is awful. I know it hurts — and I can’t take it from you. But I’ll stay right here and hold you until its better.”

That’s all we can do for each other, right? For anybody? That’s everything. That’s love.

“This is awful. I know it hurts — and I can’t take it from you. But I’ll stay right here and hold you until its better.”

You know what’s weird? I don’t remember much about how many times my mom played with me or how many times she snapped at me — but I remember my mom holding my hair back when I was sick. I REMEMBER that.

Anyway. I just looked at my jacked up family all laid out for our first day of 2016 and I thought: Sweet Jesus. This is perfection.

I don’t want a new, better life in 2016. I just want new eyes to see that my life is already staggeringly beautiful. 

I don’t want to be a better mom in 2016. I just want new eyes to see that the miracle is not good better best — the miracle is that these people are mine and I am theirs. Full stop.

And I don’t want to be a BETTER ME in 2016. Screw that. I don’t want to chase after some imaginary more fabulous version of myself. I AM what the people I love need. I already AM. And when we are always BECOMING we have no room to BE. So I’m done striving. I’m fine, thanks. I’m showing up to love my people and you and the world this year JUST AS I AM.

HELLO WORLD, IT’S ME GLENNON. I’M A LITTLE LOOPY AND WOO-WOOOOO AND SOMETIMES I GET REALLY REALLY DOWN LIKE WHOA. So HI! LET’S GET STARTED!!!!

Self-improvement is just another hiding place. DON’T TRY TO BE BETTER. JUST NOTICE THAT IT’S ALL GOOD ENOUGH ALREADY.

I love you.

For those hurting today: for you — starting this new year having lost the one who rubs your back in 2015…

Stay close. This community isn’t going anywhere. And we’d like to tell you this:

“This is awful. I know it hurts – and I can’t take it from you. But I’ll stay right here and hold you until its better. “

G