Struggling

I have been struggling with writing on the blog much this week, I sit down to type something and then re read it and think, it's such a silly thing compared to what our friends are going through. To think of facing an aggressive form of cancer, at (almost)42 years old. Really just stinks. I KNOW God has a plan and I KNOW HE is in control. I just can't imagine one week being "normal" and the very next week facing this.

Scott and I went over to Steph and Gailen's house for a little while this morning. I think I could have hugged them for 2 hours straight. I just want to take this away from them. But then I am reminded AGAIN, that God KNEW this was all going to happen and once again HE has a plan. They are such wonderful examples, they both said as much as things have changed, what we believe in has NOT changed. They still both have such beautiful and strong faiths. They will be SHINING examples of how we still love each other and how we still LOVE GOD even in the yuck.

What I learned, that I did not know is that when you are diagnosed with cancer like this, your Dr does not provide you with different options or give you suggestions of where you could get trial treatments. Basically the Dr's are so busy, they told him what they would recommend for treatment and that they are happy to provide it. In order for them to find a "cure" or other places, Mayo, MD Andreson etc, they are pretty much their own advocates for that. SO they have to use their own connections in order to FIND outside things. So on top of having to swallow the information that is staggering in and of itself, they THEN have to research this cancer and where they could possibly go for trials etc.

They did diagnose him yesterday with pancreatic cancer, originating there and now spread to his liver and the lymph nodes in his abdomen. Not an easy one to fight, but they are putting on their FULL armor and planning to fight it as best they can. It's surreal truly, to sit next to a friend and have them look you in the eye and ask you to help with specific things. Surreal. Surreal to watch Gailen look into my husbands eyes and ASK him to help Grant with basketball, to step up and help coach the basketball team, to provide the support he cannot give his son right now. Just about took my breath away.

But we will come BOLDLY to our God and ASK for healing, ASK for direction in finding the best Doctors for him and ASK for this miracle. We do BELIEVE in a God that can heal.

Isaiah 33:2-6

² O LORD, be gracious to us;

we long for you.
Be our strength every morning,
our salvation in time of distress.

³ At the thunder of your voice, the peoples flee;
when you rise up, the nations scatter.

⁴ Your plunder, O nations, is harvested as by young locusts;
like a swarm of locusts men pounce on it.

⁵ The LORD is exalted, for he dwells on high;
he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness.

⁶ He will be the sure foundation for your times,
a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure.