Dear Uterus,

Dear Uterus,

As I sit here this week thinking about the potential surgery ahead and the fact that we will no longer be together I have mixed feelings.  I feel the need to sort my feelings out and to those who know me well, writing letters seems to help me with that.  So I write this note to you...

People keep asking me if I am ready for this, if it is emotional for me to say goodbye to you.  While most days I say yes I am ready, there are moments where I feel attached to you for all that you have given to me.

These 4 beautiful children that were once inside of me, inside of you and me.  God gave you to me, I cannot ever repay you for your protection of them.  For the gift of never having to experience a miscarriage.  For miraculously allowing each baby boy to develop, and to be healthy.  After seeing what shape my uterus is, and how amazing it is that we were able to conceive is a miracle.  Most people with a uterus' that looks like you, have a hard time.  But God allowed it and we are SO very grateful.

I think I will always long to be pregnant.  Not that I want another baby, but I just adored that feeling of pregnancy.  I loved feeling a baby inside of me.  I loved the dreams and hopes that came with each one.  I notice pregnant women and many times get tears in my eyes, I wonder if they feel the pure joy I felt which each one of our boys.  That part of me will never change, whether you're a part of me or not.  I am learning that.  I will always hold one to those memories and cherish them.

I will not miss your cramps...that I have suffered from since I was 16 years old.   I will not miss purchasing tampons and pads...Scott will not miss purchasing these items for me.  I will not miss the terrible headaches that you brought me.  I will not miss having to suddenly wash sheets, or clothes because you let me down.    Nope I will not miss those things.  I will not miss the days where I had to just sit with my feet up...waiting for things to settle down.  (hmm well maybe I will miss that excuse)

I am grateful your friends, the Ovaries, and Ms. Cervix can stay with me.  That way I should be able to avoid any medications or feelings that are different.  I am sorry to see you go as you served me well for so many years....

But it is time to move on for both of us, the time has come.  I have peace with that.  It doesn't mean I won't be a tad bit teary on Thursday morning, but the truth is....you have given me more than I could ever thank you for....

I truly am thankful to God for allowing me to have you, and for allowing you to serve the highest purpose for my body in my mind...our children.  The gift of motherhood.

Goodbye my dear friend and thank you,

Susan Mary