Allowing them to grow up...

There is something I have been thinking about a LOT this summer and fall...it's about allowing our boys to grow up.  Sigh it's NOT easy.  And I find I have to be THOUGHTFUL in it, it doesn't come natural to me.  At ALL.  I like control...a little too much I think.  Sigh...don't you love it when God keeps convicting you over and over and over of the very same thing.

Especially with Tommy I have struggled with this, because he is the oldest...the balance of protecting him, teaching him how to guard his heart with allowing him to grow up and experience the good and the bad too.  Allowing him to stumble at times and figure things out.

I find myself allowing Max to do things I never would have let Tommy do...because I know it really doesn't matter.  Or because I kind of wish I had not squelched some of that little boy spirit in my older boys when they were 2.

One example is guns...yep I said guns.  Last week, one morning Max walked up to me and out of the blue said "Mommy, I love guns"!  And ran off pretending to shoot something with his Lincoln Log...yes Max has been allowed to play with guns, water guns, nerf guns, cap guns...all of them.  Ummm Tommy and Drew were probably 8 before they touched a water gun.  No joke. I was the Mom freaking out in preschool at the site of another boy pretending a banana was a gun.  Really?  sigh.  Guns don't kill people, people kill people.  And guns...well they aren't so bad.  I loved shooting them in high school myself at my friends cabin.

In my bible study we are talking about Mothers and Sons and a lot about being a "Helicopter Mom", you know the Mom that hovers over every little thing.  The one that runs her kids lunch to school when he forgets it, who calls a coach when she things her son is being treated unfair, who controls playdates, and every little things she can.  Sigh...I am guilty of more than one of those.

So I have been really consciously working on letting my boys have more "slack" in their strings.  It does NOT come natural to me.  I have had some great conversations with the older 2 boys lately about all sorts of grown up things, about their choices with friends, girls...and even about sex.  I love these conversations.  I love that they know what wise choices are and I love that we can talk openly about them.  I pray that never changes.

You can pray for me...it's important to us that our boys make mistakes and face rejection.  I know it's what will make them stronger when they leave here.  I know it helped me growing up. My parents were there to walk me through how to deal with the not so great stuff.  It is a learned thing.

This Thursday Tommy will fly to Ohio by himself.  I know SHOCKING huh? And it's not a direct flight, nope through Detroit change planes and all.  It's another step I am trying to make.  After all I was flying alone at age 14 to see my sister in college...he is 15.  It will be a great experience for him.  The last few times we have flown somewhere I have had him tell me where to go, in preparation for this day.  He is ready, he will be fine.  But will I?  :)  He is flying to meet Scott there for their Buckeye weekend...he will get to see Grandma and Grandpa Shisler as well.  He is SO excited to be doing this...yes our little boy who was scared to walk 10 feet from me at age 4 to go to a concession stand is getting on a plane alone, switching planes in Detroit alone...and to think, it has only been a few months since I started letting him go to a different store in the mall than me.

See what I mean...God is working on me.  He is showing me I need to allow them to grow up....