The Best Yes

This devotion was written for me....

I say YES so easily and then I am worn out, so easily.  I do better with less on my plate, yet I want to help so many, and do so much.  But I cannot.  I need to remember that.  My YES need to first be for God and my family.  A lot of YES for my Mom right now, I need to be able to be there for her in a drop of a hat.  And my close friends...I want to be a good friend, I want to love them well.  They love me so well. 

That ALL being said...I have just agreed to head up the secondary Yearbook Club at DMC this upcoming school year.  :)  Although this was after much prayer and it has flexibility and it's what I LOVE...writing and photos and kids.  Please pray for me in this new venture.

I have scaled back on taking photos, I am still doing plenty and it is a blessing...I do LOVE it, but I am not taking on new clients.  Just those that I know or come referred from friends.  

Max starts preschool in a few weeks, that hasn't set in yet.  I am so excited for him to have his OWN thing, so excited.  He will love it.  He is going to a school we have not been to before but I have heard nothing but rave reviews about it.  He will be at Good Shepherd Early Learning Center.   Confirmed yesterday that he will still be able to spend a day a week with his beloved Mrs. Ruth...my sweet friend who he spends Tuesdays with, he will now get to spend Mondays with her.  They have a wonderful relationship and it's been so good for him to have this and for me too.  

I may sub teach here and there on Mondays this year, when it works.  Just to try it out really.  I won't do it much.  I am looking forward to my mornings with Max, and Wednesdays all day with him.  I didn't think I would like afternoon preschool but now, I think it will be perfect for us.  God knew that.  

Off to get stuff done today, Max is at Ruth's and this house is a mess, my desk has piles and (close your eyes Mom) I still haven't unpacked my clothes from last week.  One thing I have learned about myself in recent years is that when I feel overwhelmed with stuff to do, and piles at home...I tend to find other things to do to avoid them....eat, shop, blog, paint a room...you name it...I avoid it when it feels out of control.  Not a good habit...time to get off the blog and get stuff done.  :)

AUGUST 12, 2014 I Dread Saying Yes But Feel Powerless to Say No LYSA TERKEURST

"... for at one time you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord." Ephesians 5:8-10 (ESV)

I have a confession to make: I want people to like me. I want to please people. And sometimes it gets me in trouble.

I dread saying yes, but feel powerless to say no. Life seems to rush at me every day in the form of endless demands. And I just keep saying yes, yes, yes to the requests that come my way.

But then my schedule is so packed it feels like I literally can't think straight. Because I have no margin, everything my kids do feels like an interruption. And anything extra my husband asks of me causes bitter resentment to rise up. Instead of talking calmly to those I love, I snarl, snap and scream.

Saying yes to everything won't make me Wonder Woman. It will make me a worn-out woman.

Can you relate?

I think to some extent we can all be people pleasers at times.

We all want to be liked. There's nothing wrong with that. But as we travel the path toward love and acceptance, let's take a look at two of the possible motivations behind people-pleasing.

One motivation is to give love out of the kindness of our hearts. In giving love, we feel love. That's good.

Another motivation is to give to others out of what we hope to get in return — love. In getting love from what we do, we feel desperate to do more to get more. That's dangerous.

It's this second motivation that gets us into trouble with people-pleasing. It's not wrong to want to make others feel loved, happy and pleased. But if we are doing it with the motivation of getting love and things in return, we set ourselves up for trouble.

Being in a constant state of trying to get love by doing more and more leads to exhaustion.

Exhaustion for the giver. Exhaustion for the taker. Exhaustion for the relationship all together.

Ephesians 5:8-10 says, "... for at one time you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord."

I like the explanation of what the fruit or evidence is when we walk as children of light — doing what is good, right and true — as we discern what is pleasing to the Lord.

I am challenged to make this a filter for the decisions I'm making today. If I'm seeking to please the Lord, I will ask some questions before agreeing to do something for another person: Am I doing this with good motives, right intentions and true expectations?

Or am I doing this with:

Fearful motives ... They might not like me if I say no.

Skewed intentions ... If I do this for them, will they be more likely to do that for me?

Unrealistic expectations ... I just know if I give a little more, they'll affirm me and I'm desperate for their affirmation.

Wherever we focus our attention the most will become the driving force in our lives.

The more I focus on trying to figure out how to please people, the more of a magnified force people-pleasing will become in my life. The more I focus on trying to figure out how to please God, the more of a magnified force He will become in my life.

My focus. My choice.

Dear Lord, help me break away from my people-pleasing tendencies with wrong motives. Guide me in my daily decisions as I battle fear, skewed intentions and unrealistic expectations. I want to make You the focus, Father, so that You continue to become the magnified force in my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.