"This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. " Psalm 118:24

Sunday, October 23, 2016

I Am Back

Wow...so much to catch up on.  So much life CHANGING stuff going on and I am determined to capture it on this blog for the sake of having a journal of our days.

We are in a HARD season at the Shisler house.  A refining season, a season where God has us trudging through what feels like a bog of mud many days.  Yet I DO see His sunshine and His love for us in these moments.

I will start by going back and reposting some of the Caring Bridge posts I have been doing for Mom. That will help fill in some gaps.

Also I need to post about Scott's Dad, Grandpa Shisler entering the gates of heaven on October 5th.

Tommy is now half way through his freshman year at Ohio University as well.

The Indians are in the World Series and are going to be playing the Cubs AND Dad got them tickets to the games!

Here is my post from yesterdays caring bridge...




Journal entry by Susan Shisler — 10/22/2016

This is a post I have never wanted to write for many reasons. But God has us here...in this place and He never makes mistakes.   


Mom has had a hard week. She is weak and exhausted. Monday we got her an IV in the hopes it would help her gain strength. Tuesday seemed better. Wednesday, not so much. We went out. We rented a wheelchair. We had a girls lunch out. Walked around a lake to look at leaves and feel the fresh air until mom got chilled. Thursday Mom was worn again.  And yesterday was Mayo...


The Mayo appt was just okay. The Dr was concerned the cancer was growing. Mom's symptoms point to that. But we didn't have all of the blood work back at the time of appointment and the Dr couldn't rule out that the Immunotherapy drugs weren't working so we did another round of that treatment.  We also added in an IV infusion hoping it would add energy to Mom's day.  It took 4 pokes until they could gain access to her veins, tears were streaming from my eyes, but not Moms.  We were holding hands, and she was rubbing my hand, like a Mom does...trying to make ME feel better.  We left Mayo with mom not feeling any stronger than when we arrived in the morning.

Later in the afternoon we received the blood labs back that we didn't want to see....it shows that the cancer is spreading.  We weren't shocked, but it isn't something we wanted to see. The number was so high.   Sigh...we take a deep breath here and shed tears.

The truth is this is NOT our home, this is earth.  Our home is in heaven where there are no needle pokes, pain or treatments needed.  Where our bodies are healed and whole.  Drew, our 17 year old, shared with me today something he had recently heard through one of his teachers at school.  How time in heaven and time on earth are SO different.  And how we can't imagine or understand God's time...but how this earth is just the smallest fraction of time and how in heaven it is likely that as we walk through the gates we will turn around and see our children...that it won't feel like SO long there.  I loved hearing him share that this morning.

Sadly, time on earth feels slower....and selfishly we don't want to NOT have Mom here with us.  But...we don't want her to be in pain or suffer in any way either.

So it has come to a time where we need the support of hospice care to assure us Mom will be pain free in these days.  To help support us as we do our very best to care for Mom.  There is beauty in dying, I am sure of it, and we will find it.  We are counting every blessing, every day!  And we won't stop doing that. We will walk with Mom every step of the way to heaven and will hand her off to Jesus KNOWING that we WILL see her again, KNOWING that she is going to the MOST amazing place...she is going ahead to make sure the chocolate chip cookies are baked, the beds are made and the lights are all on when we get there.  I told her last night I really hope that she can watch us from heaven, and watch the grandchildren...her response "I will find a way...".  I love that.

Jesus says this in the bible John 14:2-4  "My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You KNOW the way to the place where I am going." and later in the same chapter he says this John 14:6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me."

This is truth.  The truth brings peace, the hardest peace yes...but peace.

We so appreciate your prayers during this time and through this journey.  We ALL feel them, and we all feel your love.  We know that you all want to help and the best thing you can do for us is pray.  We will meet with hospice this week to make sure we have everything Mom would need.  Dad is an amazing care giver and those wedding vows are shining through him right now.  If you want to mail Mom and Dad a note, that would be wonderful 9608 Falcons Way EP, MN 55347.  If you want to contact me you can, smshisler@aol.com.  I promise to keep you posted.  Thanks for loving us all so well.  There are blessings in this cancer journey and we count EACH of you as one.

PS I am attaching one of my favorite pictures from our photography session a few weeks ago.  This is Mom, this is her joy.  Oh how I love her.  How did I get so blessed for God to give me to her?

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