Dear Younger Me

...almost exactly a year since my last blog post.  Oh how I have great intentions to stay up to date here.  But alas I don't.  I am grateful for Instagram and my chatbooks...they keep track of the day to day.

A friend asked me if I would send her an encouraging note as her baby is off to kindergarten this week.  She was looking for any nuggets of wisdom...I have been thinking about it for almost 3 weeks, what to say to her...and basically I decided it was what I would say to a younger "me".  So I wrote it from that perspective.  I wanted to keep a copy of it here for me...so that I could later look back on it. And truthfully I don't remember if this blog is set up to send out my posts to others...so if it is and you are getting this random blog post from me...sorry to clog your email.

Dear Younger Me,

When your baby heads off to Kindergarten you will be okay…actually you will be shocked that what you thought was your LAST baby…really isn’t.  lol  So…then when another 6 year passes and you really send your baby off to Kindergarten you will be okay, and you won’t have any more babies.  Your kids still need you, they will always need you.  

You don’t need to get a “job”, you have one,  and you are their Mom. If you want to get a job, or work, you can…but don’t ever feel like you don’t have a job that is valuable and important.  

Enjoy your days, try to get as much done during them so that when the kids come home at night you can focus on them. Have lunch with your friends, enjoy reconnecting to them….enjoy your leisure time.  Don’t feel guilty about it.

Volunteer to watch friends little ones still at home…while they go and do whatever they want.  Remember the days when you just wanted an hour to do whatever you wanted and couldn’t…tell them they can stay home and nap…that you don’t care. You just want to give them a break.  You remember those days…

Listen, really listen, when they get home from school.  Read between the lines if you must and allow them days off when they need them.  Don’t ever strive for perfect school attendance, it just isn’t worth it.

Be at their class parties…volunteer in the library…but don’t over do it.  It is great for your kids to see you at their school and serving…but it is also great for them to know you have other interests.  

As your kids get older they will still need you to listen, with boys the best time for deep conversations are on car rides, when they are in the back seat and don’t have to look you in the eye. Allow them to ask whatever questions they choose and don’t ever giggle at them.  Simply answer them honestly and straightforward.  Let them know they can ask you anything. 

As they get even older, make an excuse to take them shopping, or to lunch, or on an errand just to give you that one on one time and space in the car for conversation, away from their siblings.   That is when they will tell you the most.  

Let go a little at a time, a little bit like a kite string.  Slowly, and safely…. sometimes you may have to reel the string back in a bit…but then you will let it go.  It is SO hard to not be able to control the kite and protect it from everything…but you will be okay.

Let your kids make mistakes, let them try to bake on their own, or do laundry on their own, or make a decision with money that you know isn’t wise.  But let them fail.  They will learn from it.  Be there to pick them back up, but allow the failures.  

Remember that God loves them more than you do. Some days that is hard to ever imagine, but He does.  

Never ever stop praying for your children. Even when they act a little like they don’t need you or your prayers.  They do.  Even when they break a little piece of your heart off with decisions they make…pray for them anyways.  Love them anyways.  

Remember you are filling up their “basket” of life with all you teach them, values, morals, all you expose them to, church, school, family, friends, faith…you are filling up a basket they will take with them.   They will have to dump their basket out one day when they leave home, but they will fill it back up with many of the things you have taught them, shown them…but they will not have your exact faith and your exact basket.  That is okay.  Just keep praying.  Pray they choose God’s path…and if they don’t, love them anyways and if they do love them anyways.  They are always watching you and gauging your love for them as their Mom. Reflect Jesus to them. 

You were made for such a time as this young Mom, God will equip you if you stay near to Him.

XOXO

Susan